Remember Lot's Wife - Dec. 31, 2018

January 04, 2019

Happy New Year you beautiful people!

This week has definitely been a good one! We obviously had Christmas, which was super fun! The family we went to, the Davidson's, are some of the coolest members I've ever met. I love them! We also had a big zone beckfast on Christmas morning, which was a riot! Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE CHRISTMAS?!?!?! I'm way sad it's over, but there's no way anyone is gonna stop me from listening to Christmas music. #christmasneverdies.

We also had MLC the day after Christmas! Getting to see my people and go back to Iowa City was right up there with talking to the fam in terms of my favorite gift this year. I miss those people so much! S/o to all the peeps at MLC, especially Elders Barney, Harvath, Clark, Shelp, and Sisters Harmon, Plumb, and Pearson.

Another important thing that happened this week was the untimely demise of Israel Rivera, our treasured companion of 10 days. He has been greatly missed since he flew back to Cali on Friday. The trio was the greatest thing that ever happened to the IDMM. It was a good time, but like all good times, it came to an end.

Which leads me to the important, spiritual, and probably boring part of this email. I've been struggling a lot this transfer with living in the past. The three transfers I spent in Iowa City were some of the happiest months of my entire life. The people I taught there, the missionaries I served, and the ward there were all the greatest I've ever met. Some of the strongest friendships in my life were forged there, but transfers seemed to rip all of that away. The emotional state I was left in was definitely not a positive one.

That sets the stage for the beautiful blessings I was able to see and learn this weekend.

With the New Year around the corner, there's lots of talk about the past, but also a lot of optimistic looking toward the future. During church someone shared a quote about faith in the future from Elder Hollands talk, Remember Lot's Wife. Let me include the thought:

"A more theological way to talk about Lot’s wife is to say that she did not have faith. She doubted the Lord’s ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently, she thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as what she was leaving behind... In short, her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future. That, apparently, was at least part of her sin."

That quote hit me like a brick wall. My feelings of sadness and longing, though not inherently sinful, represented my lack of faith in the future. My negativity was an indication that I didn't believe Christ was capable of making my future as good, or even better, than my past.

Upon acknowledging that, and turning to the Lord for forgiveness and to strengthen my faith in the future, my life has become so much more rich and bright and filled with love. Christ really is the high priest of good things to come, and He has once again reached out to bless my life and fill it with love.

That being said, with a New Year ahead, let go of the past! Learn from the bad times, cherish the sweet memories of the good ones, but press forward with faith in good things yet to come!

I was gonna write more, but this thing is way to long already. If you've read this far, you're a saint! For your diligence in reading, here's a poem about these feelings:

What a perfect, priceless plan,

That lifts, and pulls, and helps me stand!

That takes my broken, lonely heart,

and clouds of sorrow begin to part!

Life was good and filled with light,

But changes came with darkened sight...

Floating, filled with a foreign fright,

Life, for a moment, was dark as night.

But oh how bright, and filled with love,

Is my heart when turned above!

Despite these pricks I kick against,

My Savior fills me when I let Him in!